Do you find that most young people are disrespectful of their elders?
I'm 37 years old, not a senior citizen yet, but it disturbs me to see the trend of the younger generations disrespecting their elders the way they do. My own son does it once in a while, he got on here not too long ago and posted a nasty question to the seniors group. I went through later and apologized to everyone who answered (of those who allowed email). All of my grandparents died before I was born, except for my paternal grandmother, and she was an alcoholic.Anyway, I wish I had had grandparents to sit at their feet and listen to their stories about the "good ole days" and share their wisdom with me. So many young people take our elderly for granted, not realizing that if they'd just open their minds we could learn a lot from each other. Do you know in China the elderly in society are held in high respect and honored and cherished? Nursing homes are unheard of there because families take care of their own. If only we were more like the Chinese.
Senior Citizens - 36 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Only a scarce few kids respect elders. From about age 5, kids really don't care about what their grand parents have to say, as long as they get stuff from them.
2 :
Yes there is no respect for seniors these days it makes me sad. Just yesturday a couple of 7yr old boys walked past my house screaming at this other poor kid calling him a f2cking c7nt!! I was shocked! Kids are outof control these days, obviously I'm not going to say ALL kids but quite a few.
3 :
At this day, and age, YES!!!! Dam kids are outta control. My Martial Arts teachings taught me respect at an early age.
4 :
I think that is a broad generalization. I would consider myself in the younger generation, even though I am not that young. I respect my elders and I feel that my friends do too. However, I can see why you may think that young people treat older people that way. Some people do, but certainly not most.
5 :
I actual do study china and it is pretty cool. But back to the question. Its nothing new that children will always disrespect their elders. It is because the years are so far apart that it hard for them to comprend each others feelings or thoughts. I personally did not like having my grandparents over. But I did like my grandpa not because of his stories because of his humor and quietness. I don't disrespect my elders just dont like them that much.
6 :
It depends on your influences at a younger age so don't blame it on the kids. Of course, most Asians are taught how to behave, whereas some people are expected to learn in school.
7 :
kids learn and act how their parents teach them to. If they do not have alot of contact with elders from an early age, how can you expect them to show respect? Our society as a whole does not respect older people, but to be fair, older people rarely respect younger people also. My 6yr old neice has grown up with almost constant contact with her grandparents and great-grandparents and she is very respectful, but if a child only sees old people at christmas, and other holidays, then it is up to the parents to teach them respect, they are not going to learn it on their own.
8 :
Its because parents no longer teach manners and how to respect people. That is one thing I do not tolerate is lack of manners and disrespect for elders. My parents taught their children well, and we in turn have taught our children well.My daughter who will be 24 next month gets just as disgusted at people her age who act disresptfully to others. She aasks me why do they act and treat themselves like garbage. She doesnt understand it either. The kids now adays have no respect for anyone including themselves. I see it day in and day out. Even their lack of respect for themselves. This generation of kids absolutely sickens me and to think they will be the leaders of our country.
9 :
Very much so. But it goes further than sassing old folks, teachers and parents- they are direspectful of each other and of themselves. There is very little personal integrity in this country.
10 :
What we do is what they learn, what we teach is what they might listen to. Respect,Kindness, Honor, Good is best taught by doing and then is learned by example.
11 :
China isn't a great example...considering all the negative social attitudes of years gone by...maybe the seniors are honored and cherished because they actually survived horrid traditions gone by. Kids are better off taught to respect all ages, gendres, etc. Lifestyles and attitudes have changed so much toward all kinds of people, not just seniors. Teachers, the law, business owner's, anyone who represents any authority or direction. What would happen if anyone told the parents of these misguided kids...for the most part I believe nothing. As a middle-aged adult I still believe in respecting all people. I like all people until done wrong by... which by the way leads to another part of kids and seniors...I hated Grandpa and all old people after he molested me. There wasn't a damn thing I could do about it - I knew I wouldn't be believed. It's all over now, thanks to lots of counselling. I think the issue of disrespect is bigger than just bratty kids going overboard. We can only hope to guide our own, and protect the vulnerable. Pointing fingers at one specific group won't do any good, in my opinion. And thanks Yahoo for the chance to give that opinion. xo
12 :
No I don't. Seniors too have to share the blame for they are generally mistrustful of the younger lot. I suppose it is the generation divide which the society for ever has found it impossible to bridge. Yes, I agree it is for the parents to inculcate proper values for once the kids are through their tumultuous years, they will come back to those values. Haven't we all passed through it? Rebelled and come back to the old values? The difference is in our time we had much more stable family relationships - they are so fragile now. And it indeed is difficult for kids of broken homes to inculcate any kind of values for they received none and were too busy sheltering themselves from all kind of adversities, physical and mental. No wonder they have a totally irreverent attitude. That group specially believes in giving it back to life and that includes elders too. I think the onus is on elders, not to be overly sensitive and overreact, but to be patient and put and view things in their proper perspective. After all, we have the advantage of age and experience which they don't have. As for the Chinese model, that is an Asian trait ,only the Chinese one gets talked about more for they are getting noticed even otherwise for various other reasons.
13 :
I agree that many are, but that is reflective of their upbringing.
14 :
No more than any other generation. I was taught to respect my elders but that was my family and grandma would not let you treat her any other way but right. Kids are you and they think old people really don't know anything they can use today because they are old and information changes so quickly. But then again there are the older people that disrespect the younger crowd without giving them a fair shot too. I really wish the gap could be closed and a generation of healthy younger people can learn from healthy older people and vise versa
15 :
this is the same old story i got when i was a kid ,, they are no more disrespectful then when us oldys were teenagers, you do not have to be young or old to show respect for other people, it is more in the way we were bought up
16 :
I have to be honest with you. I believe this generation of parents have less control and have disciplined their children less than I've ever seen in my entire life. It seems kids control the parents, not the other way around. I think we are just reaping the consequences of not bringing up children to respect other people in general. Instead, the focus seems to be constantly asking for, and getting, whatever they want at the moment.
17 :
This disrsepect for the elderly has even got into the churches. If your church is a Rick Warren church you'll know what I mean. Young people here are pandered to with their noisy music, chasing about, encouragement to tear down the traditions of the church, KJB and organ and quiet moments abandoned, hugging and kissing and slobbering other themselves in fashion, children put onto church councils, the elderly side-tracked and ignored, called wrinkleys to their faces, old-fashioned (with a snear), and all this encouraged by the with-it vicar or preacher who has made his church into a personality cult. But the Seniors are expected to provide the money!
18 :
Yes they are,. I don't remember the last time a child or teen said thank you or held the door for me or looked me in the eyes while talking. I realize this begins at home, the teaching of manners and respect but my 12 y.o. grandson tells me things that happen in class that amazes me and the teachers won't correct them or send them to the office. They just ignore them. Now if the child doesn't have a good roll model at home and school where can he/she learn from?
19 :
Kids these days are not taught by their parents they"re taught by TV and their peers. They learn that if it's not new it's worthless... just throw it over their shoulder and get a new one (a better one). Never mind that the old one has been doing the job for twenty years without failing... The new one is shiny and new... So what if it breaks the second time it's used It's shiny and new AND broken throw it away and get another. Everything around them is disposable... why not the old people too? I live in California and one can tell when kids from the Midwest and south come into a place... They say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir and no sir... They have manners... But out here they lose most of them in a big hurry. And I deal with the "good ones" a big percentage of the time... I deal with them in church. End of Rant
20 :
I was taught as a child to respect my elders. I am now 49. I taught my son to respect his elders. I think that it has mostly got to do with the way kids are raised. I only had one problem with my son growing up not respecting an elder or authority figure. It was a teacher at school and when I got through with him he never went there again. Teach a child manners, insist on them, insist on respect and you will get it. Leave them to their own devises and you will get something totally different.
21 :
As I learned, at a young age on a front porch, respect is earned and you are taught how to be respectable and also how to give it and receive it. Thank heaven not all kids are disrespectful but the few do stand out like a sore thumb. I am 62 and have a son age 9. Yup! He is nine, and he has manners but also knows how to handle folks (of any age) who don't. He shows by example (quietly) and knows that somethings you can't control or change. He maybe only 9 but he is a smart kid and his examples have made him many friends in both genders and age groups. I'm a wildlife artist and sometimes I also teach private group lessons. Get lots of kids & adults and sometimes a child gets in my class that is a total horror of disrespect (even to his own folks). That child learns right off the bat (in a firm way) that I will not tolerate his mouth or his actions. The rest of the group backs me up and the child gets the picture real fast. Each and every day I, like others, have to earn respect and how we do it is the key. TV, movies, music, and now the computer have opened the world to everyone and some of the stuff isn't fit. We grew up on our own brand of music etc. and to some degree it formed us too. What and how we deal with it is up to us and how it will affect the younger crowd. We only hear about the ones doing wrongs but I assure you, they are in the minority.
22 :
Was that the question asking if seniors still have sex? That was pretty rude, but i probably would have thought it was funny a couple of years ago. Im 18 and i love elderly people! My grandparents are all dead and i wish they weren't, i find the elderly really interesting, and a lot nicer and friendlier than a lot of people out there. Although in saying that there are a lot of mean old people too.
23 :
It is so true what you have written......Some cultures do have more respect than others...... I have raised five boys and feel that it is important that you teach your children to respect elders and human being in general.......so I tend to think that respect is mostly learned at home, from reminding the children of other people feelings and of course also of what you see......If you practice what you preach then more than likely you will raise children that care and respect elders......If yourchildren see you interact with elders in a positive way, with respect and letting them express themselves with out ridicule then you can demand respect.........Apparently you had a good upbringing......and are trying to teach your child.
24 :
With "rudeness" being the new cachet, EVERYONE is treated with disrespect. Also, I get disrespect from my contemporaries, so it may be more pandemic than you realize
25 :
They sure will be on this section...But why?...I don't know.
26 :
Not the young people that I know. They love me. Hug me. I cook for them. I take them places. They buy me cards for my birthday. My grandson said his friends like me better than him. I told him that I believe it is my pancakes that they like and the crispy bacon that I fry. They call me Grandma just like my grandson who is 17. Believe it or not, but he is white and his friends are one black, one hispanic and two white and one tomboy girl. They skateboard together. Go bowling together. My grandson is very handsome and last year he had girls everywhere, but this year none. I asked him why and he replied that they cost too much money. He said girls are too bossy and they want to run his show. He plays the drums. He's been in baseball, football, basketball and now bowling. He's a championship bowler and being trained by a professional. Once, one of his friends smarted off to his mother and my grandson took him home in his car and we've never seen him since. I don't know if my daughter told him that he couldn't come back or if my grandson just dropped him as a friend. This is the only disrespectful young person that I have heard about. I often make them watch their mouth in front of me and they do. They are good kids.
27 :
I'm almost 54 & the last thing I want is to have a society that is more like the Chinese. We have the freedom to choose in America & why put the pressure on our children to give up their lives in order to care for us? That's just wrong, in my eyes. I raised my child to be an individual & take care of themselves. I don't want them taking care of me. I want to die with dignity & not be a burden in my last days. The younger generation has every right to disrespect us because of the simple fact that we have dumped a lot of stuff on their plates that they will have to deal with long after we have left this earth! Respect is a 2 way street. You get what you give. It has no age limits or restrictions. The generations don't communicate on a level of sharing & this makes trust difficult. Families are changing & so is society. I don't think it's fair to expect the younger generation to take the blame for their so-called "disrespect" of the Elders of society. Many older people need to shut-up & listen sometimes before they just assume that they are correct due to their age!!!!!!!! Many of the children of the current generation are Warriors & they will be fighting for their own freedom in a world full of hate & mistrust. They will have to kill to survive. Please & thank-you won't matter when the time comes to defend yourself & your community. We live in the age of an upcoming Civil War within the United States. There will be no room for what you refer to as "respect". It will be a time of truth that these disrespectful kids will be able to deal with better than the rest of polite society!
28 :
I'm a younger person and I give respect as it is given to me. If anyone asks something of me politely I will reciprocate but if someone is disrespectful to me such as if a old people who happens to be senile(sp) is ill-tempered then I'm mean in return.
29 :
At this day, and age, YES!!!! Dam kids are outta control. Its because parents no longer teach manners and how to respect people. That is one thing I do not tolerate is lack of manners and disrespect for elders. My parents taught their children well, and we in turn have taught our children well.My daughter who will be 24 next month gets just as disgusted at people her age who act disresptfully to others. She aasks me why do they act and treat themselves like garbage. She doesnt understand it either. The kids now adays have no respect for anyone including themselves. I see it day in and day out. Even their lack of respect for themselves. This generation of kids absolutely sickens me and to think they will be the leaders of our country.
30 :
Do young people curse the elderly? Do young people mock the elderly? Do young people respect their parents? Do young people seem to think older relatives are just a source of money? Do young people check on the elderly(visit) and help them even when they are helped by them?
31 :
I never hear from my grandchildren unless it's their birthday or Christmas. Kids aren't like they use to be. They sass, make obscene jesters, they never offer you a seat if all the chairs are taken, they never open a door for you, they run you over instead. Not only do they disrespect their grandparents. I have seen how they talk and act towards their parents as well. So who is to blame? I say the parents of course. They allowed this to happen. It's sad and only going to get worse. Just think how THEIR kids will turn out. Hopefully by then a good swat on the rear when needed will be allowed by society. That's the best cure all.
32 :
I also notice this. I treat senior citizens with respect and also have been teaching my children to also be respectful. It is disgraceful how so many kids these days are not taught to respect their elders and they turn out to be very rude and inconsiderate towards them. What a shame b/c they deserve the utmost respect. China is doing something right-better than the USA. We could learn something from them.
33 :
I agree with you. its sad the way our youth are turning out..
34 :
Hi. Happy Sabbath. Yes... Take care.
35 :
Absolutely, bring back the Waddy Stick I say!
36 :
In this society very much so........................
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Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
How are the maternal instincts for an animal from Species A, triggered for an animal from Species B
How are the maternal instincts for an animal from Species A, triggered for an animal from Species B?
CANEY, Kan. - A dog at a southeast Kansas zoo has adopted three tiger cubs abandoned by their mother. Safari Zoological Park owner Tom Harvey said the tiger cubs were born Sunday, but the mother had problems with them. A day later, the mother stopped caring for them. Harvey said the cubs were wandering around, trying to find their birth mother, who wouldn't pay attention to them. That's when the cubs were put in the care of a golden retriever, Harvey said. Harvey said it's unusual for dogs to care for tiger cubs, but it does happen. He said he has seen reports of pigs nursing cubs in China, and he actually got the golden retriever after his wife saw television accounts of dogs caring for tiger cubs. Puppies take about the same amount of time as tiger cubs to develop, and Harvey said the adoptive mother just recently weaned her own puppies. "The timing couldn't have been any better," he said. The mother doesn't know the difference, Harvey said. He said the adopted mother licks, cleans and feeds the cubs. The Safari Zoological Park is a licensed facility open since 1989 and specializes in endangered species. It has leopards, lions, cougars, baboons, ring-tailed lemurs, bears and other animals. It currently has seven white tigers and two orange tigers. Because whit tigers are inbred from the first specimen found more than a half-century ago, they are not as genetically stable as orange tigers. The zoo's previous litter of white tiger cubs was born April 23, although one of the three has since gone to a private zoo near Oklahoma City. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080730/ap_on_fe_st/odd_adopted_tigers;_ylt=AgIJMdjBmYy1tQ_PRPljOXsDW7oF
Zoology - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think its the fact that the mother had just weaned her own pups so giving her new babies to take care of fills in the gap of not having her pups. I have parkeets and they have been taking care of cokatiels the babes look quite different but they take care of them as if they can't tell the difference but it only seems to work with parents tat had just laid eggs or lost an egg.
2 :
It is hormonal. Women who are about to give birth develop hormones that gives them the urge to both love the child and care and feed it. Animals have the same. I have seen many picures of all different species caring for the young of other species. I have seen photos of cats nursing puppies, baby rats, baby mice, baby squirrels, dogs nursing kittens, piglets, squirrels etc. Go on Youtube and you will find tons of video examples of this.
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CANEY, Kan. - A dog at a southeast Kansas zoo has adopted three tiger cubs abandoned by their mother. Safari Zoological Park owner Tom Harvey said the tiger cubs were born Sunday, but the mother had problems with them. A day later, the mother stopped caring for them. Harvey said the cubs were wandering around, trying to find their birth mother, who wouldn't pay attention to them. That's when the cubs were put in the care of a golden retriever, Harvey said. Harvey said it's unusual for dogs to care for tiger cubs, but it does happen. He said he has seen reports of pigs nursing cubs in China, and he actually got the golden retriever after his wife saw television accounts of dogs caring for tiger cubs. Puppies take about the same amount of time as tiger cubs to develop, and Harvey said the adoptive mother just recently weaned her own puppies. "The timing couldn't have been any better," he said. The mother doesn't know the difference, Harvey said. He said the adopted mother licks, cleans and feeds the cubs. The Safari Zoological Park is a licensed facility open since 1989 and specializes in endangered species. It has leopards, lions, cougars, baboons, ring-tailed lemurs, bears and other animals. It currently has seven white tigers and two orange tigers. Because whit tigers are inbred from the first specimen found more than a half-century ago, they are not as genetically stable as orange tigers. The zoo's previous litter of white tiger cubs was born April 23, although one of the three has since gone to a private zoo near Oklahoma City. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080730/ap_on_fe_st/odd_adopted_tigers;_ylt=AgIJMdjBmYy1tQ_PRPljOXsDW7oF
Zoology - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think its the fact that the mother had just weaned her own pups so giving her new babies to take care of fills in the gap of not having her pups. I have parkeets and they have been taking care of cokatiels the babes look quite different but they take care of them as if they can't tell the difference but it only seems to work with parents tat had just laid eggs or lost an egg.
2 :
It is hormonal. Women who are about to give birth develop hormones that gives them the urge to both love the child and care and feed it. Animals have the same. I have seen many picures of all different species caring for the young of other species. I have seen photos of cats nursing puppies, baby rats, baby mice, baby squirrels, dogs nursing kittens, piglets, squirrels etc. Go on Youtube and you will find tons of video examples of this.
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Friday, January 7, 2011
im 19 would they accepts me in the peace corps?? advice plz
im 19 would they accepts me in the peace corps?? advice plz!!?
i am really determined to join the peace corps and go to china for 2 years helping people. i am a nurse assistant. do you think they would accept me?? and any other advice you want to give!?
Community Service - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Since you have a skill there's no reason why they shouldn't.
2 :
Yes, they would accept you. I'd seriously rethink your desire to join, however.
3 :
92% of all PCV have a bachelor's degree. Your chance of getting in is small. If you were an RN they would probably take you.
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i am really determined to join the peace corps and go to china for 2 years helping people. i am a nurse assistant. do you think they would accept me?? and any other advice you want to give!?
Community Service - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Since you have a skill there's no reason why they shouldn't.
2 :
Yes, they would accept you. I'd seriously rethink your desire to join, however.
3 :
92% of all PCV have a bachelor's degree. Your chance of getting in is small. If you were an RN they would probably take you.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
Breastfeeding moms, if YOU were to "teach" a new first time mom the art of breastfeeding, how would you do it
Breastfeeding moms, if YOU were to "teach" a new first time mom the art of breastfeeding, how would you do it?
I recently heard one of my friends talking about her experiences with breastfeeding and how peaceful and relaxing it was and the intimacy between her and her baby and it sounded like a wonderful experience. It was NOT what I experienced in my failed attempt at breastfeeding. It seemed like the OB nurses at the hospital tried to make the whole experience as stressful as possible. They were grabbing at my boob and violently SHOVING it in my poor tiny baby's mouth, of course he fought it, being manhandled that way. Of course it didn't help that the lactation consultant for the hospital was out of town when my baby was born. Also, he was very lethargic when he was born and was nearly impossible to keep awake. He had a condition called Neonatal Polycythemia that caused poor feeding and lethargy. We were there for 3 days after he was born and by then the phrase "you need to try to nurse him" totally stressed us out. My husband insisted I bottle feed him pumped breast milk because of the strain he saw in both me and our baby. I tried to explain nipple confusion, but he won out in the end. I tried for two weeks to get him to latch on, and he would eventually start screaming and pushing away when I got him in the proper nursing position. So, if you were to teach the art of breastfeeding to a new first time mom, how would you do it? I have since been more informed enough by my own research that the violent shove the boob in the baby's mouth approach taught by "Bull in a China Shop" nurse and "Nurse Ratchet" (my husband's name for them, not mine) isn't right. And that it's not supposed to stress mom amd baby out so much that they both begin to hate it. :( He's two months old now, totally loving the bottle. If I have another though........ Actually, my most successful latch was after my husband and I pretty much scared the nurses out of my room. No La Leche League in my town, pretty much no breastfeeding support at all. Just one very busy lactation consultant. (Small town Alaska, my husband's mom thought she was in a 3rd world country when she visited) I never said the lactation consultant was a man, just out of town. I took a breastfeeding class before my son's birth. It was one hour and it mainly focused on the benefits of breastfeeding with little practical instruction. Number 2 will be better, I hope.
Newborn & Baby - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I didn't have anyone at the hospital help me, I just sort of figured it out. I sat up comfortably, grabbed a boppy pillow to lay the baby on and scooted him close to my breast. I made sure his mouth was open wide enough so the whole aereola was in his mouth, and just let him go. I tried different positions to see what worked best for us, and he was eager to eat so there weren't any problems for us.
2 :
I nursed my son for 14 months and had a wonderful experience, but I would hardly consider myself an expert who is qualified to teach others the skill. To any mother who is considering breastfeeding, I would advise taking a breastfeeding course before having the baby -- these are offered at most hospitals along with childbirth classes, and include articles, websites, and videos showing MANY examples of what a proper latch should look like in MANY different nursing positions. Second, I would advise spending as much time as possible with a lactation consultant (or experienced nurse, if a consultant is not available) while in the hospital, especially if issues arise. Only an individual mother can really say when she feels she has tried enough, but I would advise sticking with it as long as you can possibly stand it before giving up.
3 :
I've thought about taking some lactation consultant classes or whatever it is I would need to certify, but after only bf one baby, I don't feel that qualified! I also had a hard time, but had a GREAT LLL lady help me out and a wonderful doctor who was very supportive. I took my son's lead. Most babies are born with the ability to latch. some need a little more coaxing. I found it helped if I had a bit of milk on the tip my nipple to encourage him to latch. if there's nothing there, baby can get very frustrated a refuse to latch. The nurses taught me a little trick while still in the hospital, they got a tiny syringe and squirted a tiny amount of formula in his mouth as he was starting to latch. (as you don't have much to squeeze out at first!) and it worked wonderfully. I would make sure his/her lips are OUT! and that they have the entire aerola in their mouth. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing and ended up with some nasty cracked nipples! It is best to avoid all other fake nipples (bottle or soother) for 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. As we experienced it and again, had terribly cracked painful nipples! We seriously had to 're'-teach our son how to latch again. It also doesn't help with you have NO help! If you are pregnant, try and book a few appointments with a Lactation consultant before hand, or go to a couple Le Leche League meetings, they should be able to give you great tips! I'm sorry you missed out on that opportunity, I hope I helped a bit! EDIT: You could try booking an appointment far in advance with the Lactation consultant or even talk with a LLL lady over the phone might help!
4 :
Goodness, that story is identical to what I went through with my son. I got to the point where I was in tears trying to nurse him when we were still in the hospital. I actually pumped and finger fed him for the first week because the latching technique they showed me was not correct. I'm not sure how I would teach another woman. I think I benefited most from going to a few la leche meetings and having other women there to show by example. It's easy to describe the hold position or that you need have the whole areola in the mouth for a good latch. But I think having another nursing mother in front of you is enormously helpful. It makes that information more tangible.
5 :
The key to learning to breastfeed (for me) was patience and support. My baby did not want to latch on at all when she was first born. So, to keep from getting too frustrated, I would put her down whenever I got close to getting upset. She would not nurse for very long at each feeding until eventually getting hungry enough to want more. The first few days of life, most babies aren't that interested in feeding anyways. Her pediatrician told me that babies have enough nutrients to sustain them for 72 hours after birth with no feedings at all. (Not that you shouldn't try to feed them but you get the idea) So, I never gave her a bottle, because I knew she would prefer it, due to it being easier and eventually (it took about 2 and a half weeks) she got the hang of breastfeeding. It was like one day it just clicked for her and she knew what she was doing. Those were 2 very long weeks! But I'm very glad I pushed thru and got her to where we are today. If you do try to solely breastfeed, just know that your baby is not going to know how to do it at first and you should sleep whenever your baby is sleeping so that when he/she is awake, you will feel more rested than if you just try to sleep at night. (My daughter nursed every 2-3 hours all day and night) Now she loves to nurse and it is very soothing for her. Even if she is not really hungry, it calms her down if for some reason she is upset and/or can't fall asleep.
6 :
Wow, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'm surprised to hear that your lactation consultant was a man. That scene you described as them shoving your baby's face into your breast is pretty much what happened to me at the hospital. Luckily, I had nurses that were very nice that explained to me that you do that so that the baby is able to latch on correctly. Your breast is large and their mouths small, so in order to get the nipple far enough in back of their mouth, you need to shove. Don't worry, you won't hurt your baby. The first few weeks are stressful. The blissful moments with your baby come later. The first 3 weeks are horrible. Be prepared for pain and be prepared to want to give up, BUT don't. You need to have a pact with your husband (I made my husband promise me before I gave birth that NO MATTER HOW HURT I AM, don't encourage formula just reassure me it's almost over). Buy lanolin creme because you will probably need it. You can probably watch a video online before the birth of your next baby of how to latch babies on and what a good latch looks like. They have lactation consultants you can pay to come over or even call on the phone for advice. I was able to receive good advice from the lactation consultants at my hospital. Once your milk comes in (one to two weeks), it's a lot better. I don't live in a small town in Alaska, but I didn't have very much support from family or friends because no one breastfed. I had a serious conversation with my husband and made him promise to encourage me to continue and I got numbers to all lactation consultants I could find. My daughter is 12 months and I'm still breastfeeding. I know it's hard to do this without support, so I applaud you for trying.
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I recently heard one of my friends talking about her experiences with breastfeeding and how peaceful and relaxing it was and the intimacy between her and her baby and it sounded like a wonderful experience. It was NOT what I experienced in my failed attempt at breastfeeding. It seemed like the OB nurses at the hospital tried to make the whole experience as stressful as possible. They were grabbing at my boob and violently SHOVING it in my poor tiny baby's mouth, of course he fought it, being manhandled that way. Of course it didn't help that the lactation consultant for the hospital was out of town when my baby was born. Also, he was very lethargic when he was born and was nearly impossible to keep awake. He had a condition called Neonatal Polycythemia that caused poor feeding and lethargy. We were there for 3 days after he was born and by then the phrase "you need to try to nurse him" totally stressed us out. My husband insisted I bottle feed him pumped breast milk because of the strain he saw in both me and our baby. I tried to explain nipple confusion, but he won out in the end. I tried for two weeks to get him to latch on, and he would eventually start screaming and pushing away when I got him in the proper nursing position. So, if you were to teach the art of breastfeeding to a new first time mom, how would you do it? I have since been more informed enough by my own research that the violent shove the boob in the baby's mouth approach taught by "Bull in a China Shop" nurse and "Nurse Ratchet" (my husband's name for them, not mine) isn't right. And that it's not supposed to stress mom amd baby out so much that they both begin to hate it. :( He's two months old now, totally loving the bottle. If I have another though........ Actually, my most successful latch was after my husband and I pretty much scared the nurses out of my room. No La Leche League in my town, pretty much no breastfeeding support at all. Just one very busy lactation consultant. (Small town Alaska, my husband's mom thought she was in a 3rd world country when she visited) I never said the lactation consultant was a man, just out of town. I took a breastfeeding class before my son's birth. It was one hour and it mainly focused on the benefits of breastfeeding with little practical instruction. Number 2 will be better, I hope.
Newborn & Baby - 6 Answers
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1 :
I didn't have anyone at the hospital help me, I just sort of figured it out. I sat up comfortably, grabbed a boppy pillow to lay the baby on and scooted him close to my breast. I made sure his mouth was open wide enough so the whole aereola was in his mouth, and just let him go. I tried different positions to see what worked best for us, and he was eager to eat so there weren't any problems for us.
2 :
I nursed my son for 14 months and had a wonderful experience, but I would hardly consider myself an expert who is qualified to teach others the skill. To any mother who is considering breastfeeding, I would advise taking a breastfeeding course before having the baby -- these are offered at most hospitals along with childbirth classes, and include articles, websites, and videos showing MANY examples of what a proper latch should look like in MANY different nursing positions. Second, I would advise spending as much time as possible with a lactation consultant (or experienced nurse, if a consultant is not available) while in the hospital, especially if issues arise. Only an individual mother can really say when she feels she has tried enough, but I would advise sticking with it as long as you can possibly stand it before giving up.
3 :
I've thought about taking some lactation consultant classes or whatever it is I would need to certify, but after only bf one baby, I don't feel that qualified! I also had a hard time, but had a GREAT LLL lady help me out and a wonderful doctor who was very supportive. I took my son's lead. Most babies are born with the ability to latch. some need a little more coaxing. I found it helped if I had a bit of milk on the tip my nipple to encourage him to latch. if there's nothing there, baby can get very frustrated a refuse to latch. The nurses taught me a little trick while still in the hospital, they got a tiny syringe and squirted a tiny amount of formula in his mouth as he was starting to latch. (as you don't have much to squeeze out at first!) and it worked wonderfully. I would make sure his/her lips are OUT! and that they have the entire aerola in their mouth. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing and ended up with some nasty cracked nipples! It is best to avoid all other fake nipples (bottle or soother) for 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion. As we experienced it and again, had terribly cracked painful nipples! We seriously had to 're'-teach our son how to latch again. It also doesn't help with you have NO help! If you are pregnant, try and book a few appointments with a Lactation consultant before hand, or go to a couple Le Leche League meetings, they should be able to give you great tips! I'm sorry you missed out on that opportunity, I hope I helped a bit! EDIT: You could try booking an appointment far in advance with the Lactation consultant or even talk with a LLL lady over the phone might help!
4 :
Goodness, that story is identical to what I went through with my son. I got to the point where I was in tears trying to nurse him when we were still in the hospital. I actually pumped and finger fed him for the first week because the latching technique they showed me was not correct. I'm not sure how I would teach another woman. I think I benefited most from going to a few la leche meetings and having other women there to show by example. It's easy to describe the hold position or that you need have the whole areola in the mouth for a good latch. But I think having another nursing mother in front of you is enormously helpful. It makes that information more tangible.
5 :
The key to learning to breastfeed (for me) was patience and support. My baby did not want to latch on at all when she was first born. So, to keep from getting too frustrated, I would put her down whenever I got close to getting upset. She would not nurse for very long at each feeding until eventually getting hungry enough to want more. The first few days of life, most babies aren't that interested in feeding anyways. Her pediatrician told me that babies have enough nutrients to sustain them for 72 hours after birth with no feedings at all. (Not that you shouldn't try to feed them but you get the idea) So, I never gave her a bottle, because I knew she would prefer it, due to it being easier and eventually (it took about 2 and a half weeks) she got the hang of breastfeeding. It was like one day it just clicked for her and she knew what she was doing. Those were 2 very long weeks! But I'm very glad I pushed thru and got her to where we are today. If you do try to solely breastfeed, just know that your baby is not going to know how to do it at first and you should sleep whenever your baby is sleeping so that when he/she is awake, you will feel more rested than if you just try to sleep at night. (My daughter nursed every 2-3 hours all day and night) Now she loves to nurse and it is very soothing for her. Even if she is not really hungry, it calms her down if for some reason she is upset and/or can't fall asleep.
6 :
Wow, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'm surprised to hear that your lactation consultant was a man. That scene you described as them shoving your baby's face into your breast is pretty much what happened to me at the hospital. Luckily, I had nurses that were very nice that explained to me that you do that so that the baby is able to latch on correctly. Your breast is large and their mouths small, so in order to get the nipple far enough in back of their mouth, you need to shove. Don't worry, you won't hurt your baby. The first few weeks are stressful. The blissful moments with your baby come later. The first 3 weeks are horrible. Be prepared for pain and be prepared to want to give up, BUT don't. You need to have a pact with your husband (I made my husband promise me before I gave birth that NO MATTER HOW HURT I AM, don't encourage formula just reassure me it's almost over). Buy lanolin creme because you will probably need it. You can probably watch a video online before the birth of your next baby of how to latch babies on and what a good latch looks like. They have lactation consultants you can pay to come over or even call on the phone for advice. I was able to receive good advice from the lactation consultants at my hospital. Once your milk comes in (one to two weeks), it's a lot better. I don't live in a small town in Alaska, but I didn't have very much support from family or friends because no one breastfed. I had a serious conversation with my husband and made him promise to encourage me to continue and I got numbers to all lactation consultants I could find. My daughter is 12 months and I'm still breastfeeding. I know it's hard to do this without support, so I applaud you for trying.
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