I need serious marital advice quick. I have nobody I can tell without it opening a huge can of worms?
My instinct is to run home to mom but I didn't tell her what happened because I know she will freak out and insist me and my toddler come to her house. I have been visiting my mom a hundred miles away for 4 days with my son and I have a husband who I have been married to for 11 years. We have one 2 year old. My son is my world. I am a stay at home mom and go to nursing school 3 days a week, other than that I am at home. I am sorry this is long but this seems like a place I can ask. My husband has too many friends. They come and go as they please throughout my home, I feed at least one of them a night, and currently one is staying in our guest room and my husband just told me that the law is looking for him and he has nowhere to go, so my husband feeling sorry for him has let him stay the past two months. I really don't have a problem with him and the law is looking for him apparently for having a gun and he is a felon from stealing a car when he was 20 back in 1982 and felons can't have guns. That is not even the problem although I told my husband he had to go because I am not comfortable having a wanted freaking fugitive in my home. While I was gone my husband let a few people stay over. Now keep in mind we have been married over a decade. I know my husband drinks and occasionally smokes weed. I personally have never done anything stronger than tylenol and have never actually seen him smoke it because I do not approve of it and it is a sore subject with us. He is open about it so he doesn't feel the need to lie. Tonight when I came home the house was a total disaster. I was cleaning stuff up and we have a tv stand in our living area and my son plays in it by putting his toys in there and such and he opened it and grabbed one of my priceless china plates my grandma gave me and it had white powder on it. I was stunned as to why it was there or what it could be until I saw it shining and I knew it couldn't be good. I tasted it and it tasted like battery acid or something. My mind went immediately to cocaine. The guy who lives with us was outside and I called him in, since my husband hadn't got home yet and asked him what it was and he said "hon, all I can tell you is that it is no good. I promise it isn't mine, but I am not lying to you that it aint good" I believe it wasn't his, I could tell by the look on his face. My problem is that my kid had access to freaking hard core drugs. I have never been so sick in my life. I met my husband on the road with another of his friends and told him I was moving out and couldn't live like this anymore. I mean you don't know how low you can feel until you see your two year old holding a plate with cocaine on it. I am so done. I love my husband dearly, but I feel he is not doing his job protecting us. He let this happen and I am lost. What should I do?
Parenting - 6 Answers
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1 :
Move out and call the police. Tell them about the plate and the powder. You know, that was really stupid tasting the white powder. They only do that in movies, the police would never taste something like that to identify it. But if it were cocaine it would have made your tongue numb. It could be meth, and if they were making it in your home it could be dangerous to live there now. The manufacturing process poisons the place where it's being made. The police should be able to bring some instruments to test the place, and see if they were making it there.
2 :
Go with your gut and leave him - at least until he can prove he's dropped the partying and boozin' with the boys. I'd be more worried that what you found is crystal meth - it's a LOT worse than cocaine - worse on your body and harder to stop doing if he's addicted to it. I know - we've lost 2 family members to that sh*t. You need to get your son out of there and give your husband a wake-up call. EDIT: I wanted to add that you SHOULD go to your moms. So what if she freaks out - this isn't anything to mess around with.
3 :
I definitely say take your son AWAY from that situation. Then maybe you can work things through with your husband if you want to, but at least meanwhile you and your baby will be out of harm's way.
4 :
I think your absolutely doing the right thing by leaving. It sounds like you and your husband need to set down some Serious ground rules. And you need to tell him those rules will be set and in place if he wants you or your son back into his life. First of all I would tell him that you found the cocaine on the plate and ask him point blank if it was his. Admission or no admission tell him the first thing he has to do to get his family back is stop doing any and all drugs, (including weed) you are his wife and if your not comfortable with it then he needs to respect you and your wishes. I really dont know what else to tell you except that your head is in the right direction by thinking of your child first, just imagine what would have happened had your child ingested that. Im sure you'll do right by your son. Good luck.
5 :
Don't ask how I know but cocaine wouldn't taste like battery acid. In it's pure form it won't taste like anything and after a while your mouth would have gone numb. Normally it's cut with sweetener so it would have tasted sweet if anything. Meth would be more crystaline than a powder but it also wouldn't taste like battery acid. There are no drugs out there that taste like battery acid. Maybe you should talk to your husband about what's going on rather than jumping to conclusions and talking to someone else.
6 :
Take your kid and move back to your Mom's house, then call a divorce lawyer. The situation with your sh!thead husband is not going to improve. He is a loser and a stoner. Move on with your life, if not for your own sake, then for the safety of your child.
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